This isn’t some sad story of a grown up girl who somehow got lucky in life and love. Its also not a nod to Demi Lovato and the resounding impact her vocals continue to have on my life of late. It is however a nod to the strength of women and collective blessings we are to one another when it comes from a place of love.
I have been extremely blessed in this life to have experienced this kind of love more times over than I can explain. In such I’ve been honored to have many women in my life that care for me, love me, support me and have a genuine interest in me being the best me possible, graciously giving themselves to the cause. They are friends, mothers, mentors and others still just kindred souls I’ve met along the way who gave freely for their season or reason leaving an indelible mark. Among those women is an elite inner group known as “The Mom Squad” aka “Maternals” aka “Matties”. If the lead-in made them sound like heroes its basically because it’s true. These are the women who have forged bonds with me and at all cost corrected, interrupted, questioned and claimed me. And because I let people choose their station in my life these self proclaimed squad captains emerge and rightfully are my first line of defense when I’m short on experience and in years past the last standing when things have completely fallen apart.
Right now my Matties are in transition. My long standing 30 year alphamom, HH aka Knocka aka Linda aka Cocoa Khaleesi, decided after its third appearance she is not going to fight her cancer diagnosis but instead fill her days with travel and adventures she’s put off. When I found out we were both angry understandably for very different reasons. Me for not knowing sooner because I could have been there to help and maybe convince her to seek treatment alternatives. Her because I was still her emergency contact and she was then forced to tell the entire family the ugly truth. We fought but like all families we forgave and came right back to center.
Her heir had already been decided unbeknownst to me. The year or so leading up to this cancer discovery she’d been encouraging me to connect with a coworker I’d mentioned on occasion. I did so genuinely in the name of friendship and to my surprise she asserted her maternal ambitions and walked right into this fire. That woman, lovely gracious soul that she is, is now MM aka Naomi aka La Madre. Yes – to my amazement (and admittedly fear) from the ash and rubble of my keep away bull rose Horchata Khaleesi. Combined with my existing Cocoa Khaleesi let me just tell you my texts threads are utterly entertaining and their dynamic is hilarious, frightening and wildly reassuring.
From opposite ends of the Earth they coordinate attacks on my habits, dating life and I can only imagine what else. I would be lying if I said I didn’t get a kick out of their tag teamed threats to beat the various colors off or into me and watching their friendship grow. I’m equally fascinated and shocked when they both key in on things that are never openly discussed or give me the same resolution to my problems which is an absolute testament to their wisdom. For all that life has thrown at me, my matties represent the dynamic growth and strength of womanhood. According to them somehow I embody the independence and resilience they’ve had to scrape together for the same situations that I refused to back down from. By my count I say they give me entirely too much credit and they say I don’t take enough. They say I can’t be rough and tough. I say like salt and pepper, I keep both handy to season the situation appropriately. As you can see there’s still lots of work to be done here.
If I never get to proclaim it again, I love my Matties. Infinitely, unconditionally and freely. To the same ends I know my Matties love me. We are all women of faith, varied denominations – a real life testament that no matter your spiritual plane love, kindness, family and humanity are universal practices. From Jordan to just up the street, Dubai to Dallas, Capetown to Conroe, what I have with these women and what they have given me can never be measured or repaid. I can only continue to grow and hope to make them proud. And when the opportunities present themselves serve my tenure for another young woman and keep the Mattie train rolling. Thank you HH. Thank you MM. Ahbak y te quiero mucho, mis Matties 😘
Y también Janice.